Today was the day. I reached into my wallet and pulled out $2,400 cash and handed it to the teller at the credit union. “Congratulations!” the teller said to me. After a long wait for the cash to be accepted, my boyfriend Mike and I walked out of the credit union. I couldn’t believe that I had finally paid off my car, a snazzy blue-purple, 2013 Hyundai Elantra.

How did I have the cash to complete this transaction? Usually when someone pulls out that amount of cash some might wonder how someone of my age was able to obtain it.

Mike and I went back home. Home is a 2200 square foot lot in North Phoenix, Arizona on the border of Scottsdale, with three bedrooms and two baths, and 1/4 acre backyard.

My best friend Adrianna greeted me as I stepped into the kitchen, gave me a hug and said “Oh I’m so proud of you! Good job!” It turns out that this wonderful interdependent relationship with my best friend is part of the reason I was able to obtain this goal. She is also my roommate. We get to enjoy the beauty of this home together along with my boyfriend, and sometimes travelers that we know dearly. I charge her a flat rate for the room and board, including all the utilities. It helps cover about a third of the home expenses.

The rest? Well, I would not have believed it 5 years ago, when I was struggling with depression, anxiety, and fear of the future, so much so that I was willing to end my life. But, I was able to marry my passion, my dream, and the skills that I desired, to the value of my services to others. With this win-win approach, my net worth and my skills afforded me a successful life, and a career that I absolutely love as a Senior Software Engineer. This is what I will share, with easy steps to accomplish your success, despite whatever hurdles you are facing.

I did this without finishing my college education, and with the support of my best friend, my sister and my brother in law, and then, with a strong transformation, my utter will and dedication to the light of my own fire.

This is the start of my blogging adventure to help teach undergrad and upcoming college students how to do well in life and how to have satisfaction in life.

What is your inner fire?

5 years ago I would have said that my inner fire is to be loved and liked for my ideas at work. Sometimes, when I’m not careful, I begin to believe this faulty premise. It is fleeting; it serves as motivation for a bit, and then, when the praise drops away, and we cannot hear it any longer from others, we start to believe that we’re not worthy of praise, so there is something wrong with us.

This premise can be so loud, so dominating our mental space that we drown out our inner fire. This is especially hard when we are young and building our skills for our careers. When we are starting our careers, we are usually not good yet at what we do. Sometimes, we have talents. talents can only do so much. when we base our worth on our talents, and not on our execution to learn and grow and change, we do ourselves a great disservice.

No, the inner fire is self-stoked, primed, and fueled by our own desire, creativity, And our non-resistance to tackling problems in front of us. when we are truly flamed on, even when faced with a challenge that is overwhelming, we are wholeheartedly ready to take it on and grow as a byproduct. This is characterized by a “YES!!” inside for actualization of a dream, and it oftentimes does not have a direct rational reason for jumping into the decision.

Sometimes we hear, “see”, or feel an excitement and curiosity, but can be paralyzed in fear or doubt. It is our job in these moments of stuckness to reach out and to take the first step. It takes an act of self-love to do so.

When we have a tug of wishing we could do what someone else has demonstrated well, it is important to take that feeling and, remembering that every expert was once a beginner, to use the fuel to begin. The beginning of any skill takes time and discipline to develop, since they are the fundamental building blocks. The fire is a commitment to the growth for a specific purpose, that gives meaning to our life’s work, or for balancing ourselves in all our aspects – emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, sexually, and for our legacy. Yes, including sexuality – If we do not express our sexuality we will repress a large part of who we are and we will deny our very existence of how we came to be.

This beginning place is learning oftentimes through rote repetition, and can be boring at times, especially when we don’t feel like we’re making headway. This is where the inner will of the fire burning within you to master a skill must roar the loudest. Fire naturally expands, and wants to grow, at all costs. This is when you must place around your work area or your day to day life the pieces of motivation to fuel you through this tougher time. For example, you’re trying to actualize a fit physique, finding people who look similar to you but with a toned or built frame, the way you want it, is key, even as you are trying your hardest on simple exercises.

If your flame is not growing, you will not encompass your goal in the long run. Without desire and passion, you will fizzle out.

Causes for a Weak Inner Flame

If you are not feeling the lust and passion needed for growth and learning, look to these causes:

• Are your health needs met? Are you compromising your health?
• Are your fiscal needs met?
• Are you taking the time to identify the things that truly satisfy you at a deep level and do them in your life? These stoke your fire inside.
• Do the 5 closest people in your life have strong inner flames? Do you want to be like these people?
• Do you have bottom lines?
• Are you giving up before you’ve even learned the basics?
• Are you changing the commitments you have made for yourself and lost Self-Respect?

These are some of the things I will cover in the next posts.